Tuesday, 16 September 2014

Discrimination: Being "too skinny"

Well hello there my fellow readers! How have you all been? Yesterday was Malaysia's national day and I spent every single waking (and sleeping) hours in my room, exciting right?

Okay this post is going to be about *drum roll please* body size. As we all know, body size has always been a sensitive issue among society especially girls. Why is it a sensitive issue? Probably because some people are not happy and comfortable with their body and do not wish for others to point out that flaw (so they think it is) of theirs.

But I have always wonder why is it offensive to call someone fat but it is not offensive to call someone "too skinny"? I personally have been a very skinny girl all of my life, probably because it is in my gene. No matter how much I eat or want to gain weight, it is somehow hard for me. And people around me isn't helping at all. They keep calling me names and judging me telling me about how skinny, bonny I am. How I have small boobs and small ass and how guys won't like that. I really don't give a damn about what "guys like" or how big boobs or ass is gonna woo the guys over, I don't and you know why? Because I don't want nor do I need a guy who is only interested in whatever junk I have in store for him. I want someone who loves me for me, my personality and accepts my earth vessel (body) despite all the flaws it may have. Enough about guys.. lets get back to the topic

I actually don't really care about it. I love my body, I am healthy. But honestly, when you hear stuff like that over and over again, it starts to beat down your confidence :( It has come to one point where I actually hate my body because I am labelled as too skinny. As if my confidence is torn into pieces when people do that to me or say mean things and call me by mean names. Really is sad. But I got over it, I look at the mirror and told myself, "Hey no matter what they say about your body, God gave you that and you're lucky enough for it to be a whole normal functioning body. Some people aren't even half as lucky as you. So appreciate it". So for anyone who's having the same crisis I had, just try to think about how lucky you actually are with what He had given you.

It is offensive to judge about anyone's body type or size no matter how big or small, curvy or bony, tall or short they are. It is equally offensive and not to mention sensitive to tell someone that there is something wrong about the size of their body even if they are perfectly healthy. So stop doing it to other people because you'll find out how unpleasant it is if some other people return the favor to you as well. People (girls especially) have to start appreciating their body, all their curves or bones as long as they are healthy (I am emphasizing healthy so if you're not, you have to change your lifestyle but that would be another topic). It is God's gift to you so why should you be ashamed of it? Take a good look and appreciate it, take good care of it and most of all, love it.

Till we meet again next time

Friday, 12 September 2014

When people are missing their boyfriends, I am missing my Dad

I miss you dad, too much. I smile and laugh and crack jokes everyday but the truth is that's just so I don't cry in public. If people know what's going on inside, they wouldn't wanna be around me because I am just a sad sad clown.

I dream of you yesterday and I day dream of you almost everyday. Sometimes I forgot that you're gone. Sometimes I block out the memories about how you left me without saying goodbye or showing me any signs. 

Dad I miss you.

I remember how when I was in primary school and mum just passed away, you used to make two half-boiled eggs for me for breakfast and sometimes I couldn't finish them. Tonight, I made my own half-boiled just for the taste of memories, sweet memories taste really good you know. 
When I first learn how to fry french fries and I keep making them every night and giving it to you even if I know you don't eat them that much just so you're proud of me

I remember when I was in secondary school and you still make maggi as my midnight snack although I am already old enough to make it myself. Now I wish you're still here so I can ask you "Pa, mau Elle masak maggi?"

How when I first moved to KL, mom (stepmom) told me that you couldn't sleep at night, kept checking my room and don't have the appetite to eat because you miss me. How you would give me money even though you're low on cash. How you'd try to give me everything I want.
Now I wish that I could've given you everything you want, buy you stuff and took care of your every need.

I remember last year when I got the dean's list again and I sent mom a picture of the certificate and you said to mom that it wasn't a waste to send me here and that you were proud. I cried that night, never in my wildest dream would I think I would ever hear that from you.

I miss you so much that words can't begin to express it. Every night I cry myself to sleep and wake up with a bright smile to face the world. But all my heart is wishing for is that this was all a bad dream of mine. I wish we can be a happy family like we used to be. I wish you'd never left. I wish I could've said goodbye.

Don't worry, I'll be fine. Tomorrow I'll wake up with a smile, with my pretentious face that I have been putting on for quite some time, I just need to get through nights like this. Nights when all I want is to call you up and ask you how are you but the number I'm dialing won't lead me to you.

Al-Fatihah hero of mine

Massive Break Out: Magical Pimple-free Potion

Salam beautiful creatures! :) 

So I've decided to start blogging thanks to my friend. Feeling kinda nervous since this is my first blogpost but here goes.

Today I am going to talk about pimples. Yes pimples! Those nasty little things that for some reason have the need to grow on the surface of our face. I never actually experienced any huge break out on my skin except for that one time I chose the wrong facial cleanser and toner (I blame my curiosity to suddenly switch skincare) but other than that my skin has always been normal. A couple of pimples will grow now and then but nothing serious.

But this year, I got the surprise of my life when pimples started to grow non-stop on my face. First it was just a couple of pimples but over time, they started multiplying like crazy! Oh my, I was in panic mode of course. Who in their right mind wouldn't be, right? My cheeks were full with pimples. Small, sand-like pimples. Nothing noticeable from afar but me myself can feel how dirty my skin was.

Then I started to meddle with them.. that is one of the mistakes I regret doing the most. One should not meddle with one's pimples no matter how tempting it is, keep that in mind readers. So with that, my skin started to go downhill. Pimples and black or red acne marks, so unattractive :( I don't look at myself in the mirror anymore after that because what I see is a horrifying image of myself NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

How in the world can I get rid of these annoying pimples? :(

I tried so many skincare I can't even list it here or it will go on and on like an endless scroll of ways to waste money lol. At one point, I was so frustrated with my skin that I even went to a skin specialist. The skin specialist would actually do good but to go for an appointment every month and hours of crucial waiting is just a big no no to me. Plus the recovery process is too slow and costly for a student like me.
But good news, now my skin is getting better thanks to this magical potion!

All you need is a Dalacin C (100 g) and Eskinol facial deep cleanser (you can choose a variety of this but I'm using the Pure Calamansi Extract cause I love the smell of it) and you'll have your own magical potion! 

Okay the steps to make the magical pimple free potion is:
1. Separate the two ends of the Dalacin capsule to open and then drop the Dalacin powder inside the       Eskinol bottle
2. Shake the Eskinol bottle until it is mix well

Not only that it is cheap (both only cost below RM10) but it is an efficient way to get rid of pimples. Apply it after you washed your face, it will do wonders! Trust me. It took a week for my pimples to dry and now it is getting a whole lot better. This solved my problem, hope it will solve yours too!